Do you considered this abuse or am I overreacting?

First of all, my husband has been abusive (I think) for most of our marriage. I have been scared to leave and other times things get better. He had an affair a few years ago and he agreed to go to counseling. The counselor thought he might be bi-polar so he sent him to a psychiatrist. So okay - that might explain a lot of the violent behavior. I have had my blouses torn, money hidden, car keys taken, phone broken, a cat that we loved thrown outside to be eaten (my daughters cat), tires slashed, a dog we loved thrown off the deck cause he got mad at her, I could go on and on. Threatened that if I left everything would be broken and he would find me. Well since the diagnosis he has been mostly better. I have chalked it up to dealing with a sick man. I have tried to be supportive but I am at my end now. Here is the current situation: my daughter, her boyfriend and their baby moved in temporarily. he had a rule don't leave soft drinks laying around downstairs. thats fine. But he blew up because there was one in the GARBAGE CAN with a lid on it. Then he blew up cause he they left one downstairs overnight. Granted it is lazy not to take it upstairs and throw it away. the boyfriend was lazy a few times - but he did throw them away the next day. well before the final blow up, my cat of 14 years was being mistreated by the other bigger cat. according to my husband she was really messed up. So I said separate them, the kids are taking the other cat when the move (which was in a couple of weeks). He said okay - then when I got home from work he told me that the cat was in the field. Huh? apparently he did not separate them and the cat went after the other cat again. well my husband got mad. the cat ran downstairs and hid but my husband yanked him out of his hiding place and strangled him. Too much anger I think. there was no reason for that. He could have put the other one in the crate or in the bedroom til I could get home and take care of it. It was senseless. Then a month later - my kids were packing to move all weekend. everything was okay at this point. we had moved on somewhat. My husband waited til they went to work then went downstairs. mind you everything is in disarray - packing usually does that. Well he saw one can on the desk and flipped. He wrote in red marker on an important document' this don't belong here'. I just begged please let it go - they are moving in 4 days. he said he don't care and he is going to do worse. So he picked a trash can and poured the trash on their floor by their bed (in the walkway) and took another trash bag and put it on their bed and left it there all day. He says it was justified. when my daughter got home she blew up and left abruptly with the baby and said they will never step foot in the house again. And thats been true for 4 months now. She is afraid what my grandbaby will see or hear. or even be hurt. I don't think he will hurt our grandbaby but who knows. I did not think he would kill my cat either. So since I have to go visit my grandbaby where she lives he decided that until I fix it, he is going to torment me about until I break. He said that I have to agree that it was right. and until I do he is going to make argue with me until i break. And he said that since I caused the problem that I have to fix it. doesn't sound like a sane person does it. I said I understand that you got upset, but I will never agree that it was right the way it was handled. You don't belittle somebody like that. So then he poured trash on our living room floor at 5:00 am Sat, pushed me, and grabbed me. I had to leave at 5 in the morning because i had to get away. Yesterday broke some sentimental items in the driveway (which I am sure everybody heard). He is spending money like it is water and says he won't do anything around the house until I admit he is right. It had died down for a couple of weeks but he is now ticked off cause none of his kids called him yesterday. Nobody knows when he is likely to snap. He doesn't think that coming in from work at 3:00 in the morning waking me up and yelling at me about something I cannot control is not abuse. I think him trying to tell me what to say and think is abuse. I also think that him blaming me for anything that is wrong with the kids and our relationship is abuse. he is not making any effort to correct anything. in fact he said that I owe him an apology for ruining our marriage. huh? I tried to keep peace and he just wants to push things as far as he can. Am I overreacting? Does this sound like abuse to you? I tried to explain that if it was just the trash thing it would have been no big deal. But its his history. and how he continually torments me now. He just keeps saying that no adult can be mentally abused by another adult. He just laughs. He doesn't get the big picture.